God Likes Committed Sex
Bible Passage:
Song of Songs 8:6-7
Pastor:
Pastor Mike
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Sermon Date:
2011-02-26
It takes a commitment to conquer. New Year’s resolutions remind us of that. Most people resolve to do something—lose 15 pounds, quit smoking, eat healthier. But, to be honest, most people commit to do nothing. Like Jon. Jon promised to lose 10 pounds by March 1st. For real, this time. He was thinking about having his best friend keep him accountable for working out, but he never made the call. He was considering getting rid of the frozen pizzas at his place, but never got around to it. He was pondering a way to work that didn’t pass three Culver’s, but gas was a bit too pricey. Soon the weeks passed and March 1st arrived. You can guess the results. 5 workouts completed. 6 pizzas consumed. 7 turtle sundaes devoured. 8 pounds gained. Jon learned it takes a commitment to conquer a true challenge.
Sanctifying your sexuality is a true challenge. Setting aside your body as something sacred, to be used only as God designed, is like acing your SAT. It’s uncommon. Teens who have boyfriends without benefits are atypical. 20-somethings who avoid pornography are the exception, not the rule. Spouses who have a selfless love life are an endangered species. Singles who maintain their purity are in the single digits. Many of us regularly confess sexual sins because purity is a true challenge. So what will we do about it? Consider a solution? Or commit to one? Our Scripture reading has the answer…
We’re in the last chapter of King Solomon’s Song of Songs, the book of the Bible that portrays the passionate love between a man and his wife. Here in these final words, the wife asks her husband for more than good intentions or half-hearted resolutions. She asks for a commitment. “Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm.” This is a seal, sometimes called a signet ring. In the days before Social Security numbers and official signatures, this seal was used to identify an owner. A letter was sealed to prove who sent it. A contract was sealed to make it legal.
This woman asks, “Place me like a seal over your heart.” “Make me the official owner of all you are. Promise me you’ll love me, think about me, consider my needs, and remember how I feel. But don’t just tell me on our anniversary. Don’t let Hallmark say it in a three dollar card. Make it official. There are billions of women on this planet, but I want you to identify and commit your heart to just one—me. Put my seal on your heart.”
She has another request. “Place me like a seal on your arm.” “No one can see your heart, so place my seal on your arm. Don’t hide our love. Don’t be ashamed of me. No. Talk about me. Be proud of us. Make a visible commitment to our love.” I played basketball the other night with a guy who had a tattoo on his neck. From a distance it looked like a circle with some scribbles next to it. Since it’s not cool for a guy to stare at another guy’s neck, I had to subtly sneak a quick glance. But I finally figured it out. The scribbles were a name in cursive, the name of his wife. The circle was a red outline of her lips. This husband was not ashamed of his wife! He literally had a “seal”, a statement to the world about the owner of his heart and his body.
Now, if you’re not into neck tattoos, maybe there’s another option. A ring. This is our “seal”. A little silver or gold means nothing on its own. But on the right finger on your left hand, it means you’re sealed. It means your heart and your body belong to another. It symbolizes a commitment to selflessly love in sickness and in health, for better or worse, for richer or for poorer, until death do you part. That ring and this text reminds us to make a commitment, both inward and outward, to set aside everything we have and are for our spouse according to God’s design.
It’s hard to read these verses without thinking of another seal, the seal God placed on us. 2 Corinthians 1 says, “It is God who makes you stand firm in Christ. He…set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts.” In his love, God was not ashamed to make his connection to us official and public. When he forgave our sins, he sent the Holy Spirit to set us apart as God’s people. In his mercy, he isn’t ashamed to say he knows us, loves us, and is committed to us. God uses his heart—his compassion and love—along with his arm—his power and strength—to express his commitment to us.
As the people of God, we have the power to make a commitment today. A commitment to sanctify our sexuality. A commitment to be selfless and pure, whether we’re single, dating, engaged, or married. And we need to commit. Because anything less than a “seal”, an official commitment, will not conquer our culture, which constantly challenges our purity. As long as sex sells, pornography will easy to find. As long as puberty progresses, teens will be tempted. As long as business is booming, business men will spend nights where impurity is a pay-per-view away. As long as the R-rated is routine, sex scenes will be on 7pm sitcoms. As long as the sinful nature exists, wives will notice flirtatious coworkers and boyfriends won’t want to wait. We cannot sanctify our sinful world. The only question is if we will sanctify ourselves. Will we commit today to a sacred sex life?
A young husband named Eric stormed into his pastor’s office. “I’m really mad at God,” he growled. “Why?” the pastor wondered. “Because,” Eric fumed, “last week I committed adultery.” “Okay,” the pastor questioned, “I can see why God would be mad at you. But why are you mad at God?” Eric explained, “For the last few months I’ve been attracted to a woman at my office. She felt the same thing. I knew cheating wouldn’t be right. So I prayed and prayed and prayed. I begged, ‘God, keep me from sexual immorality.’” The pastor nodded, “Did you ask your wife to pray for you? Did you find a way to avoid this woman?” “Well…no. We went out for lunch almost every day.” The pastor took a book from his shelf and placed it flat on his desk. He started pushing it towards the edge of the desk, inch by inch. As he pushed, he prayed, “O Lord, please keep this book from falling!” But he kept pushing. And kept praying. “O Lord, please keep this book from falling.” But soon enough the book tumbled over the edge. God didn’t suspend the laws of gravity for the book. And he didn’t suspend the laws of purity for this uncommitted husband.
Perhaps the most troubling thing isn’t what’s on the internet. Perhaps the most troubling thing isn’t how many Christians sin sexually. Perhaps the most troubling thing is what some Christians do the morning after. Like Eric, too many people expect God to change the laws of nature. Like Eric, too many find out that simply doesn’t work. The downstairs computer, hidden from mom’s eyes, leads a teen into temptation. But the next morning, it stays downstairs, hidden from mom’s eyes. The swimsuit issue that sparked lust last spring arrives in the same mailbox this year. The flirtatious coworker who crossed the line last week wants to have coffee this week and the married woman agrees. The boyfriend who took things too far last weekend invites his girlfriend over this weekend and she goes. Should we be surprised gravity still works? That temptation is still tempting? But the status quo is not a commitment. It’s not a seal. It’s a temporary tattoo.
The answer to our lack of commitment is God’s commitment to us. There we find both God’s grace to forgive impurity and his power to pursue purity. Because Jesus was and is committed to us. He didn’t just think about saving us. He got up and did it. The road to hell may be paved with good intentions, but the road to heaven is paved with the good actions of Jesus Christ. His committed love is perfectly described in our text. “For love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. 7 Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned.” God’s love for us is strong and unyielding. Just like the grave won’t give up its dead, God won’t give up on us. He is possessive of his people. His heart “burns like blazing fire.” It is never apathetic, but constantly concerned about our forgiveness. That’s why God sent his only Son. The pure Son of God became impure on the cross, taking on his holy body our unholy sins. But when he died we, the impure, became something we were not—purified! “Many waters cannot quench love.” And our many sins cannot extinguish the inferno of God’s grace. The massive number of our sins cannot conquer the size of God’s love for us. His unending grace is proof of his seal, his commitment to us.
That commitment empowers us to make our commitment, to leave yesterday’s apathy and pursue today’s purity. So what commitment do you need to make today? What do you need to do to “seal” your marriage? What steps do you have to take to be sexually pure? God gives some excellent advice through a man named Job. Job said, “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl.” A covenant. He took purity seriously. Make a covenant with your eyes to not lust. Tell your wife to grab the remote and change the channel whenever a Victoria’s Secret commercial comes on. Tell your best friend to punch you if you’re staring at the secretary. Ask your sister to ask you each month about your marriage and your purity.
If you struggle with pornography, remember gravity works. So make a covenant to not lust and make a change. Put your computer in a public place. Have your wife or your mom put a password on it so you can only use it when they’re around. If you still can’t resist, unplug it and throw your Mac in Lake Monona. Checking your friends’ Facebook status is not worth your purity. Get rid of the temptation. Get an accountability partner. And get better.
If your marriage is in danger or if you’ve been sexually abused, get help. After church today, you’ll meet some local Christian counselors who specialize in sexual addictions, infidelity, and marriage counseling. I have nothing but respect for those who know they need help and aren’t too proud to ask for it. If you’re tempted to cheat, then run away. Be like Joseph from the Bible who refused to sleep with his boss’s wife or even be with her. If the passion from your marriage is gone, commit to being a better spouse. Years ago, Count Jean Camille of France proposed to his wife every day of their wedded life. On bended knee, he repeated his proposal nearly 23,000 times. What commitment can you make to make your marriage better? Put it in your calendar. Write it on your hand. Get a tattoo. Commit to God’s design for love and purity.
So, my fellow Christians, purified by the blood of Christ, don’t wait until tomorrow. Don’t push your body to the edge and pray you won’t fall. No, look to Christ. Make a call. Set up an appointment. Tell a friend. Get committed. Sanctify your sexuality. Amen.
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" If you still can’t resist, unplug it and throw your Mac in Lake Monona." Or beat it with a baseball bat! Reminded me of the movie "Fireproof": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cm81fHe6xQs&feature=related fast forward to 5:18. :) well, closer to 7:30, but the previous 2 minutes kinda give you the background info. Here the "little foxes" are referred to as "leaches." If you haven't seen the movie I highly recommend it!
Katie R.
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