DISCIPLINE MEANS TEACHING

Some people think discipline means punishing children—controlling them, making them obedient. But it really means teaching. Discipline is:

Teaching children to live and work with others.
Teaching children self-controlled, responsible behavior.
Teaching children to become independent, well-adjusted adults.

Schools work to teach children discipline, but schools can’t do the job alone.

Children spend far more time at home than they do in school. In fact, the primary place children learn discipline is at home. Of course schools will keep working to do their part. But, if we are to achieve our goal of producing well-disciplined children both at home and at school, parents and schools must work together.

Discipline is one of parents’ biggest challenges. Here are some common discipline mistakes most of us make at one time or another:

Yelling to let kids know you mean business! Kids figure out you are yelling because you do not know what else to do, and so they tune you out.
Labeling by saying things like, “you’re so lazy.” “You’re so dumb.” Eventually your child may believe it—and act like it.
Making idle threats. “Sit down this minute or I’ll never take you for a ride again!” Kids won’t take you seriously if you threaten what you can’t, or aren’t willing to enforce it.
Nagging—telling children over and over again to do something. It often motivates kids not to do what you want them to do.
Praising too much or too little. Praise too much and the child can get an unrealistic view of himself and may not learn to pursue goals for his own satisfaction. Praise too little and he may suffer from a poor self-concept.
Treating kids like little adults. Children often lack adult experience and judgment. They need behavior boundaries and someone to look to for strength, protection, and guidance.
Using bribes instead of rewards. Rewards should reinforce good behavior. A bribe is a reward to stop bad behavior. Confused? Children are too!
Disagreeing in front of children. When parents argue openly over family rules, kids get confused and insecure. A united front keeps children from playing one parent against the other.